Three Ways Sex Helped me Heal & Move on With my Life


We really don’t know anything about sex, until we know somethin’ ’bout it. Outside of condoms and orgasms (many women haven’t experienced), most don’t talk about its’ benefits and the magick that comes along with it.

Once I started my spiritual journey, a few years ago, I finally understood the ‘power of the p-y,’ which honestly has more to do with the energy of the woman more so than anythang else.

I understood that it is more so the spiritual growth that makes it so irresistible and perform its’ best. With sacral and solar plexus meditations that keep the energy right, the va jay jay will always be magickal.

La’Janee’ after a sacral meditation

So, after having this understanding, I approached my healing journey in a different way. Instead of running from sex, I welcomed it, when I was finally ready.

Sex is one of the main connections to the divine feminine energy. Once that is nurtured on a regular basis and by the right person, the energy intensifies. It becomes more than sex; it becomes a way to connect to your higher self.

Each stroke of his penis, the locked gaze we shared, and the intensity of it all reaffirmed that I was a goddess that deserved pleasure, power, and confidence.

Outside of my meditations (I’ll discuss in another post), sex really helped mend my broken heart and here’s how.

Deserving of Pleasure: While healing, sex taught me that I deserved pleasure. I had the right to seek out a partner who would leave me completely satisfied. We didn’t have to be in a deep bonding or committed relationship for him to give me his best. All we needed was a vibe, mutual respect, and intention to have a good time.

Sex gave me a feeling of euphoria and a sense of fulfillment, as well as control. I controlled who I allowed between my thighs and what I was seeking in that moment.

Once I realized I deserved pleasure, sex became a far greater experience. I was more relaxed and intentional about it. Realizing this helped me to understand that I deserve pleasure in every aspect of my life and I should be intentional about seeking it.

Sense of Power: After being in a situation where I lost my power, it felt good to gain it back, while riding reverse cowgirl in someone’s lap and having my ass caressed.

I was able to verbalize what I didn’t like, wanted more of, and absolutely needed. This is when I actually learned how to use my voice and be honest in my desires.

If I didn’t like the stroke, I told him to change rhythms. If I didn’t want to kiss him, I wouldn’t. If I needed it to be more intense, I told him. I made it extremely clear, as it relates to what I wanted (or didn’t) and I didn’t provide an explanation.

Those who know me personally know that I’m a vocal person. What many don’t know is that I struggle with being honest and vocal about my true desires, when dealing with a man. So sex has allowed me to practice this, and I’m now better at telling someone what I need, at any level of my life.

I know I can please you and will do what you need me to so I deserve and demand the same in return. This is where I taught someone how to treat me and he did exactly what I asked.

Confidence Returned:

For a while, I had to work through verbal abuse and low self esteem. Navigating this area was difficult because thangs people say and the way they make you feel is forever remembered.

Initially, I had a problem feeling sexy again. I honestly didn’t know how to feel anymore. When I am interacting with a man who constantly tells me how beautiful, sexy, seductive, smart, and desirable I am, makes it that much better.

The compliments paired with the sacral meditations I do made all the difference in the world. I was able to freely have my body explored without shame. The fact that there was a space of comfortability for me helped tremendously.

Call it whatever you wanna call it, but sex can bring more healing than harm, if you are clear about what you need and who you need it from. So, gon’ let somebody knock that chakra back into alignment, girl.

Kinda hard to cry over a nigga, when another one dickin’ ya down. Ya feel me?

Alexa, play ‘Choke’ by Ari Lennox fah me.


  1. Yasss Gawdess. The stress relief it brings is better than any chemical medicine I’ve ever been prescribed. This is a truth many women are so afraid to admit. Thank you.

  2. Yesssss boo yes, this most definitely have encouraged me to be more vocal and honest about what I want and need sexually. Thanks LáJaneé

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